Rema 1000

I do stuff like… laugh every time I go to the Norwegian grocery store.

As you have heard previously most of the places I need to go are not close by my dorm. However there is fortunately a string of grocery stores right down the road from Roligheden (my building). The cheapest and closest one is Rema 1000, ergo the one I go to the most. So last night I was feeling pretty creative about dinner and looked in the fridge and saw lettuce and tomatoes, perfect all we need is bacon and I could make some delicious BLT’s. We venture out to Rema and as we expected it was rather difficult to find the bacon on the long wall of refrigerated meats (in a language we don’t read).

As we are searching for this cured pig meat the electricity in the store suddenly extinguishes. I stop what I’m doing and peer around me to see all these Norwegians continuing to gather their groceries as if it’s a reoccurring normal event. In my head I am guffawing at how ridiculous I probably look to them but how ridiculous they look to me is what causes me to giggle as I continue to stand in stupefaction. There are no lights and the fridge is not cooling the “must be refrigerated” items; yet they all just continue to shop as if they don’t notice. Uhm ok, in order to blend in I take back up my search but can’t see (hmm I wonder why) so I decide to move on and come back. Just as I’m gathering some crackers the lights come back on and I’m relieved as I head back to the meat determined to find bacon.

Mission accomplished, we found the bacon and our other necessary groceries (yes the ice cream was necessary) and headed to the check out. There are two lines at Rema so its not like you have a huge decision to make as to which line you are going to wait in. By the time I get to the cashier I say, “Hi, how are you?” It has become the norm for us to greet employees this way because then they know that we speak English. On the rare occasion that they do answer the question they continue to speak English until the end when they ask if we want a bag, in Norwegian. This is when I usually laugh in my head because we just had this whole conversation in English and then you ask me if I want a bag in Norwegian? I also find it ironic when people state that they don’t speak a language, in that language. Like “me no speaky English” or “no hablo espanol” or “jeg snakker ikke norsk”. Ok so they know you don’t speak that language (which you clearly do because you just spoke it) but that doesn’t tell them what language you do speak. I just find it more efficient to apologize and ask if they speak English; saves us both some time and confusion.

Anyway by the time they ask if you want a bag all of your groceries are banging into each other at the end of the continuous conveyer belt. (If you have glass jars put them at the end so they don’t shatter from being constantly pelted by your other food items). They usually only give you one bag, and by give you I actually mean throw down the belt. Now I’m not a professional grocery bagger nor have I ever worked in a produce store so I’m new with whole bagging of groceries process. I know that in the US there are regulations, like don’t put laundry soap and cleaner next to your yogurt and grapes. But since I only have one bag here it looks like that’s not going to be an option. Also you know when you are at the grocery store or any store for that matter and you feel rushed? Yeah that is how it is here too, I feel like it’s a race to bag my groceries because the split second after I pay, the cashier flips the divider to the belt and starts beep beep beep, scanning the items of the next customer. Finally I just grab what doesn’t fit in my one plastic bag and begin my short walk home. So long story short I made BLT’s on bagels (yes we found frozen bagels at the store) with cream cheese. (Like we use to make at Cherry Bean all the time Mary!)

Next time you go to the grocery store keep these things in mind and be thankful that you all are speaking the same language and that you can read the labels and that they give you more than one bag and even bag your items for you. It is a much less stressful event for me in the US but also a less humorous one.